Thought Sequence from Haiku

My girlfriend is inspiring... I want your opinion if you care to share.

she looks at me

urgently—

the sound of thunder.

if I was going to be honest,

let your hand travel

lower than my shoulderbone

& keep breathing in,

pushing out carbon,

no faces or ghosthands inside

my lungs,

pain attaches to lust,

the unwanted guest at dinner,

the old woman with too much red

lipstick, painting her eyes

in the corner.

She sometimes whispers my secrets

aloud in rooms with known faces

without a veil, only downturned eyes,

yellow teeth & whiskey,

I want to ask if this is me.

Ask whoever invented the constant

of time. Decided that we move

according to spinning hands

or the shadow of the sun.

I wonder if they know

they invented music as well.

I move according to stress

& tension, my bones decided this

before I had a reason to object,

but you touch me so gently.

I remember we survive

by reshaping,

molding differently into clay

perhaps there is a chance

for us after all.

Heated Blankets

new adventures

I haven't written in a while. I think too many things are real. They are pressed so closely to my eyelids and I can't help but stare... but I have nothing to say. The heat needs to pass. So I can touch them and talk about the way they feel. I feel sharper in the cold. Today I am all heated blankets and thoughts. Trying to pass the time. When does my life start for real... and why am I now fake? Can you meet someone and instantly know the way their heart ticks... can that be confirmed the first time you lay your head on their chest? What is to say about timing... when is the right time to push the shutter... lay claim to it with your fingers... saying more with your mouth when no words come out. I wrote the tiniest of poems. I still need to figure it out.

They told me about the aftershock once,

between kisses on my eyes.

It won’t be as hard they said

You will still have a home.

This year is still shiny,

pennies in my hand.

New work

Here's some stuff I have been doing...

I know some seriously beautiful people.

Fire

This is exactly how I feel today.

There is no stopping what is going to happen,

and I'm not sure I want it to.

I think it's about time I get burned,

consumed, enveloped.

I can rise from ash.

who is this? I don't even know anymore.

Fall-ness

I have been listening to Brandi Carlile obsessively and I beginning to think my default musical choices are the only thing noticeably gay about me. That, and the rainbow sticker on my car. I am pretty okay with this, space from things is usually the best policy. I apply this also to my writing of course... but right now I just want to separate.

As silly as it is I really cannot wait to move down to Kent. Something about that place fills me.

I took my sister's pictures the other day... this is like her 20th senior shoot. But her beauty is something really to behold.

Day Dates

mmm what a beautiful day. I love the beginnings of things, how everything is that shiny metallic or that tempting outer shell of wrapping paper. Your fingers itch to rip all that paper, discover what lies on the inside, but for a small second you hesitate. Unsure to find out what you have in your hands or just keep it that delicious surprise. I always mean to pull the paper slow, but it never ends up like that. Everything usually ends up crumpled on the floor.